Winter is a REAL BITCH!!!

I haven't posted anything in this blog for awhile so I'm due...

I've had some real trouble the last few weeks with pain.
I know its due to the cold, but I'm afraid it also as to do with the medications I'm on. I've been able to somewhat pull myself out of the rut I was in, by exercising at least once a week, but it's not enough.

It's amazing that to maintain some normality with my life and with this disorder, I have to cause myself pain in order to reduce my pain.
I mean... you got to be really strong willed to do that shit!
It hurts so bad to exercise, but I have no choice if I want my overall pain to be less.
No, it never goes away completely. The exercise just reduces it a bit, but I put myself through torture just for that bit.

I went to the doctor the other day to talk to her about the pain and the medication I'm on. I wanted to get off of the Gabapentin, because it never really did much to begin with except give me headaches. I just felt like that was a chemical in my body I didn't need. Plus I wanted to talk about increasing my Savella, which unlike the Gabapentin, has been helping me greatly.
From the moment I told my doctor what was going on and how I felt, she practically read my mind and finished my sentences for me. Turns out I wasn't on the full dose of Savella to begin with and she agreed that it would be best to get off the Gabapentin.
She is truly an Amazing doctor!
Not only did she listen to me but she heard me, and she knew what I was gonna say before I did.
It's not everyday you get a doctor that actually pays attention to you, and gives a crap.

So she told me what to do. I'm reducing my Gabapentin and increasing my Savella slowly over the next two months. When the 2 months are up, I go to see her again, and she checks to make sure I'm handling the change well. If things go well, then we take the next step.

I'm a little worried what the increase in Savella is gonna do to my already heightened personalty.
As it was, when I first started taking it, it was like I was on speed.

I was hyper, I had verbal volume issues, and to top it of that I had mind to mouth filter issues (lol). In other words I was talking real loud or even yelling without realizing I was doing it, and I would say exactly what I was on my mind. It wasn't till I watched a video of myself on Christmas Day not long after starting the medication, where I was yelling profanity's at my cousins cause they hit me in the head with balled up wrapping paper, that I realized I was out of control.
Over time I gained some control over myself again as my body got used to the medication, but I'm still talkative and outgoing. Kinda funny that a side affect to the drug for me would be being loud and outgoing while I've spent my life being quite and shy....lol

So now that the doc is increasing the dose, I'm waiting for shit to get weird again. I do feel a bit hyper, but I have to be really aware of how loud I am and what I say when I speak, cause I don't want another foul mouthed Christmas...lol

(Amazing photo above by sarahmae09, Photobucket and is directly linked)

My Fingernails are Turning BLUE....WTF!!!!

So for the last 3 days there's been no the heat in the building AGAIN, and I've been freezing my ass off.
Yes... I know it's spring, but it's still freaken cold.... at least it is for me.
I mean....I'm running around wearing wool socks, heavy sweaters and a scarf around my head looking like a WWII European immigrant, but I could live with that if it weren't for the pain.

I'm feeling the cold deep in my joints. A deep aching pain and stiffness that makes me feel trapped in my own body, tired and unable to move, just like when I first got sick.
I've been telling myself this is just one of those things I'm going to have to live with from time to time. That being cold sensitive it just part of living with this disorder, but what I didn't expect to see were actual physical signs of my suffering.
The base of my nails were actually turning BLUE...
WTF!!

I've been trying to get used to the fact that this thing I've been living with, others can't see, yet here's physical proof that I'm freezing.
Talk about a mixture of fear and relief.
I'm relieved because though I've had conformation that what I'm going through is real, and I know it is, I still  sometimes feel like this could all be in my head. But I'm afraid because I'm not too sure what this new symptom means.

I know that two reasons for your nail beds to turn blue are either:
1. due to temperature, or
2. due to lack of oxygen in the blood from, respiratory issues, vascular issues or anemia.
But the only thing preceding my nails tuning blue was feeling extremely cold. I didn't have any breathing problems, nor was the house cold enough to cause that sort of reaction. I have always been slightly anemic but that's not enough to cause this.

So now I have this completely new phenomenon on my hands (literally) that I have to keep an eye on and that I'll have to tell my bran spanking new general practitioner once the issues with my insurance clear up (a whole other bag of worms I'll write about later)