I Wanna Gnaw My Leg Off!!!

Once again...I'm stuck waiting for another flareup to move through before I can get back to my routine again and it's driving me fucking BatShit crazy!!!

I don't want to stop exercising, stop moving forward, stop getting my life back, but every once in awhile I don't have a choice, I have to be still.
If I kept moving, the way my mind is screaming at me to do, I could hurt everything I've worked so hard for, I could end up doing more damage then good and end up being immobile for much much longer. I know right now I need to let my body recover and that this feeling of pain and exhaustion is just temporary. But instead I feel trapped, throwing logic at myself to keep me calm, but like a wolf with it's leg caught in a trap, all I can think about is gnawing it off.

Though my body is still, my mind is wide awake, telling me all the things I need to do, whispering all the fears that have been lurking in the back of my mind just waiting for me to be still enough to hear them.
I know I worry too much, and think too much about things, but I don't know how to change that other then to get a new brain, and the last time I checked, Dr. Frankenstein doesn't live next door.
So I focus on priorities which helps me to see things more clearly, and keeps me occupied just long enough for me to get through the time delay, and before I know it, I'll be back on track.

But it's the wait....

The incessant ticking of the damn clock while I do nothing.... That's what's making me nuts!
I've learned to deal with much in my few 29 years on this earth, probably more then most people will ever know, but having to sit back and feel useless is one of those things I haven't mastered yet.

But much like all things...this too shall end, and I'll be working on getting my life back in no time...

(photo By skyysdalmt, provided by Photobucket, and directly linked)

Can Laughter truly be the Best Medicine?

So...I'm having a "Fibro Crisis", what I affectionately call a "Fibro Cluster Fuck!" and it's really beginning to piss me off...
But I'm using that anger to my advantage....

I'm dealing with all my old symptoms of pain, fatigue, short term memory issues, but I'm still moving, just not as fast as I would like.
I'm walking at least 20 mins, every other day, but I've also added weight training, floor exercises, and some yoga moves to my routine.
It's interesting but I seem to burn more calories walking and weight training then I did with just alternate running.

Because of my stupid pain, I finally conceded and asked my mother to be my personal trainer, but to my happy surprise, she is really good at it!
She knows what she's doing from both a personal and a professional aspect, she's good at inspiring me to push myself, and yet she knows when to stop me from hurting myself. The only chink in this perfect scenario is that she either makes me laugh, or I end up making her laugh. Especially when shes trying to get me into a embarrassing yoga pose.

It reminds me of when I was being trained at Baily's by my personal trainer Konstantin.
Every training session was intense, but we always had moments of hysterical laughter that made all the exhaustion worth it at the end of the day.
One of my favorite moments was when he had me working with the medicine ball and this guy came into the room wearing very tiny shorts. Not an unusual sight in a gym, especially one downtown, so we didn't think anything of it, that was until he decided to do floor stretches and his left Nut popped out of his shorts.
Both my trainer and I saw it at the same time, and we died...
The guy was totally oblivious both to the fact that he was getting a full frontal breeze and that we had seen it. After the guy left the room and we had composed ourselves enough to get back to work, the rest of the training session became one long joke... "don't let that ball slip", "you want the blue ball?", "Stop playing with your balls", "you don't want to let your ball hang too low" and after every ball joke we would giggle like stupid little girls...lol...but it was the best session I ever had...

So if what the doctors say are true, and laughter is good for your body, strengthens your muscles, and helps you burns extra calories, then I'm on my way to excellent health...lol