MRI Results Lead To More Testing...

So had my MRI with and without contrast and I seem to be a ok.

No one mentioned any abnormalities like a hidden eyeball or limb from my ill fated twin, nor did anyone find any damage from how many times I had hit my head growing up (very surprising)...but I wonder why they didn't find the chip aliens implanted when I was a child?....oh well if it were easy to spot then that defeats the point of secrecy...;-)

Anyhoo... went a bit off course there....lol...
But back to topic, since my results were clean my doctor has to look elsewhere for why I'm having these severe dizzy spells and the next place to check is the heart. Now she hasn't ruled out seizures completely but considering I seem to have a borderline abnormal resting heart rate and it can jump pretty high very fast when I go from inactive to active or from lying to sitting and standing she scheduled me to have a whats called a Tilt Table Test.
Basically a cardiologist does this test to try to find the cause of unexplained fainting. The Tilt Table Test is what it's name implies. The patient lies on a table and there heart rate and blood pressure are monitored as the table is tilted from a lying to standing position. It allows doctors to monitor your cardiovascular response to a change in position.

Out of all the things I've gone through this passing out thing is the scariest. Not knowing when it will happen or why. I try not to think about it but I can't help being afraid whenever I leave the house on my own. But I'm determined not to let this control me or change my life.
If it happens... it happens...these retarded physicians will figure it out eventually...

Flashing Lights, Sleeplessness, Headaches, and More...WTF!!! Now What!!!!!.......

I've been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia for almost 4 years now...
All this time not much has changed except some tweaking of my medication which is why I haven't blogged in awhile. But now I've started experiencing some new symptoms I frankly don't know what to do with.

First it started off with flashes of light. Best way I can describe it is like in a cartoon when someone gets hit in the head and they see stars, except it happens sometimes when I stand up or bend over and is accompanied by dizziness.
Then there was the trouble sleeping. For nights I hadn't been able to sleep. I just thought I needed to take my evening meds eariler but even after changing the time\I still am having trouble sleeping.
Later and more subtle was the fatigue. I would do something simple like go up steps or a hill and it would be an effort. Unlike the fatigue before this isn't constant. Sometimes it happens and other times I'm fine. I can go up the same hill two days in a row and one day it's easy while the next I'm weak and breathing heavy. But that took me awhile to notice cause again it isn't consistent and I'd chuck it up to not sleeping well the night before or possibly coming down with a cold.
Then for the last two and a half weeks I've had a constant headache. I mean non-stop always there headache ranging from a 2 (mild background annoyance) to an 8 (borderline migraine). The pain seems to always be centered around my temples and the back of my neck. When the pains bad so is the pain in my neck.

But the most scary symptom happened two weekends ago....
I had woken up at 3am to use the bathroom when I felt my headache flare. As I was sitting on the toilet I suddenly felt dizzy and nauseous that quickly grew worse at an alarming rate. Luckily my mother was there so I was able to call to her when I felt like I was about pass out. I don't remember much after that except suddenly feeling my strength leave me as my body went limp, my mother being the only thing holding me up. I remember sweating a lot and my mother was yelling at me to open my eyes but all I could do was moan, I couldn't form words. I knew I was coming out of it when I was able to talk again. Once I got a bit of my strength back she was then able to change my shirt which I had completely sweated through and helped me walk to the living room where she sat me next to an open window. It didn't pass quickly and as I was gaining back control of my limbs the weakness I felt was replaced by severe body pain. As if my headache had spread throughout my body. I kept feeling like it was gonna happen again, like I a strong current were trying to pull me under, but I fought it and finally I was myself enough to get me back into my bed.

It wasn't till the next day I found out how close I'd come to going to the hospital.
Turns out when she found me I was white as a sheet, my lips pale, and when she tried to take my pulse she had a hard time finding it. This is a woman who has worked in the hospital for over 40 years, if she can't get a pulse then u know it's bad. When I started to come out of it she was finally able to get a pulse and it was 75bpm.

Since that day I've had moments of feeling like it's gonna happen again and I'm scared. I'll be fine and all of a sudden my headache will flare and I'll get nauseous and dizzy, but it only lasts a moment then passes. I afraid its going to happen while I'm in the street or traveling by myself.

On Monday I saw my general doctor and when I told her about what happened, she took blood, ran an EKG which only showed that my pulse is a bit fast, and ordered an MRI. She's worried that I had some kind of seizure and she said if it ever happens again I'm to go straight to the hospital.
I don't know what I was expecting when I told her, but her reaction scared me even more then I already was. I broke down when I finally got home.

I'm so tired of this shit!! I'm so tired of something being wrong with me!!
Now I got to worry about something else on top of everything I'm already dealing with and its the not knowing that kills me. Its the not knowing what's wrong, what triggers it, what I can do to stop it.

I can deal with a lot of things...God knows I already have...but its when something happens and I can't get a hold of it. I can't grasp it or direct it in some way that I truly get scared.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to have my MRI so we'll see how this goes, but due to the headaches I may not blog about it for awhile.
I'll try to update my blog the next time I have a semi-pain freeday, which at this point is all I'm asking for....

(Photo provided by Phototbucket, hazelpatience, and is directly linked)

Winter is a REAL BITCH!!!

I haven't posted anything in this blog for awhile so I'm due...

I've had some real trouble the last few weeks with pain.
I know its due to the cold, but I'm afraid it also as to do with the medications I'm on. I've been able to somewhat pull myself out of the rut I was in, by exercising at least once a week, but it's not enough.

It's amazing that to maintain some normality with my life and with this disorder, I have to cause myself pain in order to reduce my pain.
I mean... you got to be really strong willed to do that shit!
It hurts so bad to exercise, but I have no choice if I want my overall pain to be less.
No, it never goes away completely. The exercise just reduces it a bit, but I put myself through torture just for that bit.

I went to the doctor the other day to talk to her about the pain and the medication I'm on. I wanted to get off of the Gabapentin, because it never really did much to begin with except give me headaches. I just felt like that was a chemical in my body I didn't need. Plus I wanted to talk about increasing my Savella, which unlike the Gabapentin, has been helping me greatly.
From the moment I told my doctor what was going on and how I felt, she practically read my mind and finished my sentences for me. Turns out I wasn't on the full dose of Savella to begin with and she agreed that it would be best to get off the Gabapentin.
She is truly an Amazing doctor!
Not only did she listen to me but she heard me, and she knew what I was gonna say before I did.
It's not everyday you get a doctor that actually pays attention to you, and gives a crap.

So she told me what to do. I'm reducing my Gabapentin and increasing my Savella slowly over the next two months. When the 2 months are up, I go to see her again, and she checks to make sure I'm handling the change well. If things go well, then we take the next step.

I'm a little worried what the increase in Savella is gonna do to my already heightened personalty.
As it was, when I first started taking it, it was like I was on speed.

I was hyper, I had verbal volume issues, and to top it of that I had mind to mouth filter issues (lol). In other words I was talking real loud or even yelling without realizing I was doing it, and I would say exactly what I was on my mind. It wasn't till I watched a video of myself on Christmas Day not long after starting the medication, where I was yelling profanity's at my cousins cause they hit me in the head with balled up wrapping paper, that I realized I was out of control.
Over time I gained some control over myself again as my body got used to the medication, but I'm still talkative and outgoing. Kinda funny that a side affect to the drug for me would be being loud and outgoing while I've spent my life being quite and shy....lol

So now that the doc is increasing the dose, I'm waiting for shit to get weird again. I do feel a bit hyper, but I have to be really aware of how loud I am and what I say when I speak, cause I don't want another foul mouthed Christmas...lol

(Amazing photo above by sarahmae09, Photobucket and is directly linked)